Sunday, April 13, 2014

Boys, Girls: Get over it – Free your boobs once and for all

Concern is rising about the link between breast cancer and bras – see article on how bras affect lymphatic system

I had to stop wearing bras years ago due to Sinus Tachycardia – bras produce instant, debilitating migraines if your blood flow is compromised. I experimented with a variety of alternative solutions (strapless bras, racer-back bras, taped-on cups, hiding inside the house) and failed. One day, after a prolonged session of heaving on the side of the road in agony from the distress caused by my bra, I had to finally acknowledge that I just had to give them up. Period. My Sinus Tachycardia is caused by an incurable condition (Dysautonomia) so this decision was quite final.

But why is it hard to go braless in this country? I'm thankful for small tits as I don't have any physical discomfort when I go without. The real problem lies, as always, in social attitudes. It would be easy at this point to say "American men are pigs" because of how they react, comment, and assume whenever they see a "sign". Even if this "sign" is not aimed at them, male brains seem to assume that any indication of intact sexuality is intended for them. I sometimes find myself shielding my girls from unwelcomed stares with my bag or other items, because I really don't think they should have to put up with that shit. They just want to go out for a walk.

But the most pointed stares (no pun intended) come from women*, who will scrutinize your breasts longer than men. To men, untamed breasts are a sign. But to women they are a threat, and so are intimately perused in an effort to determine exactly how dangerous you really are. "Here comes trouble" or "Watch out!" are things women will say when they see a braless women, as if a binding piece of clothe changes the way a woman's intellect operates. (Hint boys and girls: It doesn't. Or if it does – you fucking deserve it.)

Men, Women: Get over it. Boobs are functional body parts that deserve to be free and healthy. If boobs are threatening to you, or if you just cannot handle the site of boobs walking down the street, consider moving to Russia or Canada, where a cold weather climate ensures that breasts are amply covered – at least part of the year. Your frozen mind will thank you. As for the rest of you: go take your boobs for a walk.

* I am not counting sunglassed men in this equation, who are true champions when it comes to long-term staring.

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